So, I knew this was going to be an adventure right around the time I put my dough together and got a surprisingly tactile glop. It looked a lot more like bread starter than bread. And it took forever to double. Like, twelve hours. And it was still surprisingly tactile yet stretchy glop, just a lot more of it. Okay, not the end of the world. We'll roll it out, worst case scenario, I get flatbread, then I send the husband out to buy a can of hummus. I can't even begin to tell you how awesomely tactile this stuff was. It was soft yet springy, pliant yet yeasty. There was no definable shape, just a slowly spreading...thing. I couldn't cut this stuff into squares with a knife. I had to cut it with a pair of scissors.
But! 400° F and twelve minutes later, I got golden brown puffettes. Not perfect puffettes, and they didn't fall flat on their faces after they'd cooled, but they were remarkably beignet-like. Dorian, my standard food testing cat, approves. They taste pretty good dipped in honey. I would even make this again, with actual bread flour, and margarine. Not giving up on the death yeast though. I have like, three more satchets!
Addendum: Though my standard food testing cat approved of the beignets, my uncommonly good-natured husband did not. One bite and he was done. His suggestion: the next batch, I try with real cow creams and butters, and eggs. It's okay if he only gets to eat a few. I should make them count, I think.