mokie: Set designer for a play decides that they're going to go minimalist and modern: for a scene set in a forest, there is a plain wooden frame, as if to hold a picture, with two bare branches across it.
Okay. Audience digs. This is forest.
mokie: But then someone waxes on about how this is obviously the forest in winter, and the snow symbolizes the death of the king and the desolation of the landscape in response to his death and thus it's all obviously about the darkness of the soul when its primal energy is corrupted and lost.
Wut? Says audience. I can follow you as far as "this is tree."
hamster: ... Okay. I can concede that apart from being vague, [my story] also has no plot.
mokie: You don't have enough of a framework on which to hang magic-realist arguments of symbolism; [your character] herself doesn't provide enough of a story or context for these corpses to symbolize any kind of internal loss.
I grok that this is where the story goes while in your head; but it didn't make it that far on paper.
mokie: It sounds weird to say it this way, but essentially, you're reading too much into your own story.
hamster: This, is likely true.
mokie: Allow me to Afiphize example.
You know how many say that, with Chinese art, the empty space is as important as the filled space? That what you are not seeing is also part of the picture?
hamster: Mokes. I got your point. ;)
mokie:In a photo of a rural landscape, this is so--the vast empty sky, the far distant mountains, they are part of the image, part of the story of the image, as well.
But the tourguide waving off to the far, far, far distant West and waxing about the Incan pyramids you don't see in the picture....
hamster: Enough! Got point! No need to bring out the Taj Mahal and cheetos!
mokie: In summation: yes, I know the second corpse looked just like her, and it still makes no damn difference. ;)
hamster: Geez, you Scorpios really know how to kill things dead. ;)
mokie: I could be comparing it to porn. You shouldn't complain much. ;P
hamster: Hey, if you compared it to yaoi porn, I could point and --- NO NONONONONONONO!
An inevitable short time later...
Part II: Metaphores as the Flagellation and the Running Over of with Trucks, Yakuza Shooting Squads and Porn
mokie: So you know how in your average yaoi comic, you've got the process...
hamster: ...this requires me to dig out the actual acronym YAOI stands for, and start poking you with it.
mokie: No point, no release, or something like that. But that's just terminology, and I scoff at it.
No no no. See, average story has the seduction, the resistance, the winning over, teh smex, and happily ever after. You've got--you don't reeeeeeeeeally want me to continue in this vein, do you?
hamster: No, because you've just described shoujo, which I'm not sure applies to yaoi. At least, not the ones I have picked up, where it's more like, guy meets guy, therefore they have sex. Because like, um. Why would I want to read a story that takes two volumes to have soft porn? ;P
mokie: That's half the point, though. You've written a story in which it takes two volumes to...not even MEET, much less have soft porn.
mokie: And teh smex is not soft porn, dammit!
hamster: ... OMG. I have written bad weepy shoujo!
mokie: Yes, it's true. [your story] has not even met the yakuza yet, much less been thrown across the hood of the limo and smexed.
hamster: See, I would've just asked for the part with being thrown across the hood of the limo and smexed.
mokie: [your story] is wandering around with flowery backgrounds and sparklies still.
mokie: And its readers are going, "WTF? Y4 no smex?"
hamster: Actually, I'd like to politely request the part with being thrown across the hood of the limo and smexed of this yakuza manga, please.
mokie: *waves off* Example, example. *sigh* I need to seek more good yakuza manga...
mokie: This ranks up there with Hamster Buddhas as the oddest conversation I've had in months, I think.
hamster: Admit it, without me, you'd be bored. ;P
mokie: Boooooored senseless. *nods*