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Precious Facepalm

So it seems Yoshiki, Gackt and Sugizo have decided to form a band. I have already predicted the sound -- a heavily orchestrated allusion to metal, with tragically goth lyrics (about love and falling over rusty nails in the rain as your heart breaks into a thousand pieces wanting to meet your lost lover who will probably shoot you up with android drugs -- possibly in English), and at least two solos per song for the violin, piano and electric guitar. There probably won't be organs. But there must be pianos and violins. Naturally, each song alone would have to be an average of 5:30 minutes long, punctuated by 10 minute long intermissions of completely instrumental tracks.

Yoshiki will take pains to write his lyrics in English, for the international market (and he's very adept at the English language too). Gackt will help translate the lyrics into Mandarin and Korean, because he can. Sugizo will manage to interpret the music with the violin, acoustic guitar and a double-neck guitar, within the same five minutes, during lives.

There should be dueling pianos. It would be so cool. Gackt and Yoshiki must collapse at the end, goffick fashion, from their passion play. I'm completely suspicious Gackt would win a piano battle against Yoshiki. Yoshiki's compositions are suspicious in general -- listen to enough X Japan, and they start to be the same song running into each other, but he can do good stuff. Gackt is a much better composer, though one would sometimes not believe that listening to the stuff he's written lately. Yoshiki has to do the lyrics though -- Gackt's would just be all about meeting ex-girlfriends in his sleep. If either of them would acquiesce to it, they should probably let Sugizo compose most of the material.

There must be tighty pants, and French ruffled shirts, and black leather trenchcoats and wine red draperies in the PV of the first single, because it's entirely possible. Don't even try to forget the eyeliner and pancake mix. Because how dare fangirls attend the concerts wearing 50kg of petticoats to find their idols dressed in jeans.

And you know what would be extra cool? They should get Miyavi as their other guitarist. Because Miyavi would trample all over Sugizo and probably set the dude on FIRE with his totally awesomer m4d guitar skillz. The band thus far lacks an element of slutty VK rock-dom. Sugizo is nice these days. Yoshiki and Gackt are all sorts of vanilla-flavoured pretty host boys. And if they really want to push the ex-people of famous bands part, his hair is sometimes pink.

They'll also need a bassist -- who knows who they'll rope in for that. They want to take over Asia, which works for Gackt, who's already doing that one Asian language at a time, bless him and his linguistic ways. Yoshiki's only been dreaming of taking over Asia for the last two decades. Luna Sea's played in Hong Kong. There's the entire demographic of who'd listen to their super band. Fangirls who listen to bands that haven't been around in 10 years, and gosurori who would wet their pantaloons for any one of these men's fake plastic nails. The growing horde of anime, manga and Japanese rock fans who've only just come into these legendary bands past like the new sliced bread. Grown women the Asian diaspora over who've seen Moon Child and come to love his Gacktly leather pantsness. (Pants? I was only impressed I could watch Moon Child without subtitles and still understand it because the script was in four languages at the same time.) The people who have accidentally discovered X Japan in the theme songs of the Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon TV series (Taiwanese version) and Windstruck (a Korean movie).

It would be a grand first single. Might be a repetitive album. Who really knows?

Props to jiruchan and misatojaganshi for the links and info!


Dec. 30th, 2006 04:55 am (UTC)
uh-huh! misatojaganshi linked to it once and that's how I found it. ummm, oh, right! here it is!

Vampire music... hee! all I can think of is Gackt and Dirge of Cerebus now (only because there is a plethora of bad fanfiction where Vincent Valentine is portrayed as a vampire - do not ask me how I know this).
Dec. 30th, 2006 05:48 am (UTC)
I don't really dare to ask how you know this. ;)

*looks at Myspace* "It's still fucking my mind." And he listed himself as Rock/Gothic/Classical. *BWAHAHAHAHAHA* IT'S IN ENGLISH! *goes forth to read everything*

What? Didn't say I didn't like him now. ;P
Dec. 30th, 2006 02:18 pm (UTC)
It's the comments and the "friends" that are listed that make Yoshiki's Myspace page special. ;)
Dec. 31st, 2006 04:32 am (UTC)
I admit that after a half hour of Sad Yoshiki on Piano via Youtube links, I was Yoshiki-ed out. There is only so much of the sad I can take!