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Ouran High School Host Club 17 (Raw)

There are going to be bad jokes about the scenes with the dog that looks like it's raping Tamaki. And I am going to start them!

Things we have learnt from today's episode:

1. Kyouya is scary with lack of sleep.
2. Kyouya is even more scary than Honey with lack of sleep.
3. Kyouya can scare the polar bears and penguins out of the North Pole with lack of sleep.

Man, was that cool!

Kyouya, of course, is my favourite character in Ouran precisely for those same manipulative, ultra-"kakkoii", egotistical, micromanaging, cunning and sarcastic traits that make him similarly attractive to every girl he runs across in this episode. An episode dedicated to nothing but Kyouya, therefore, is like a warm, fuzzy dream come true.

It starts off with Kyouya dreaming about his father reminding him about his responsibilities to the family's hospital and security business. He wakes up and finds himself on a bench in a department store, and he's unable to account for his surroundings. Flashback to earlier in the morning: Kyouya is rudely awakened by Tamaki and crew in his bedroom. Tamaki is showing him a leaflet for a regional fair at a department store (Japanese department stores, even the ones overseas, usually have promotions showcasing goods from different regions of Japan -- if you happen to live near a Japanese deparment store, do go visit one of these -- they're fascinating).

Tamaki wants everyone to go there to research Haruhi's commoner culture. He's fascinated (being the half-French Japanophile that he is) by the way fairs bring items too far away for commoners who can't travel to obtain closer to home.

Kyouya just hates his guts because he's had a late night and he wants his sleep, and will everyone please go away. This results in a scary Kyouya face complete with glowing eyes and purple killing ki, which drives everyone else off to the far side of his room in terror. (Note: Kyouya's room is actually very minimalist and spartan. Doesn't look comfortable at all, though the bed seems nice.) Honey makes a comment about how Kyouya is freaky half asleep, to which Mori adds that Honey of all people has no right to say that. Tamaki continues pushing his day trip though, until Kyouya basically tells him to do whatever he likes, before he collapses back in bed. Tamaki and company dress him up and drag him along with them, because they can.

The Host Club arrives at the department store, a sleeping Kyouya draped over Tamaki's shoulders. Everyone's excited by their first time in a real commoner department store. The Yaoi Twins want to see the clothes, Tamaki (really Gackt disguised as a cartoon) wants to see the pet store and Honey wants ice cream. In the excitement, they accidentally leave Kyouya on a bench.

Cue to Kyouya, in the present time, remembering why he was here and swearing to destroy Tamaki. I should mention Matsukaze Masaya (who also does Ichimoku Ren in Jigoku Shoujo) is absolutely stunning as the voice of Kyouya in this episode. He's just the perfect blend of suave, cool and "I don't care" with rageful undertones that makes many a soggy undergarment. Kyouya reaches into his pocket for his cell phone to call for a ride, but he can't find his phone anywhere. Or his wallet. He's also starting to get hungry.

A kid comes along and accidentally bumps into his leg. Kyouya flashes him the Glare of Doom. Right around then, Haruhi appears. Haruhi is dressed cute as a button again. We need to start stealing clothes, I tell you. At any rate, Kyouya hits up Haruhi for some food, and they end up at a fast food outlet. Haruhi worries after Kyouya's ability to eat fast food, thinking he might want to go to a restaurant or something. Kyouya doesn't mind, since that's about all Haruhi can afford. He lets her order. The waitress is taken in by Kyouya's entire persona and tries to sell them some dessert (not a bad joke). Kyouya retorts that he doesn't like sweets. The waitress presses on and tries to sell them a shake. Kyouya goes uber-scary at her, resulting in the scene of scaring polar bears and penguins out of the North Pole.

When they reach the table, Kyouya reaches for a hamburger (Haruhi, being smart and not knowing what he'd want, ordered a fish burger and a hamburger) and starts scarfing it down. Haruhi notices that he's not trying to be elegant in any form. Kyouya tells her that he doesn't have to put up an act since no one's watching. Haruhi also comments on how he can eat fast food without a fuss (compared with the other idiots who practically put all commoner food under a microscope). Kyouya just tells her he didn't think it'd be nice to criticize food someone else provides (this is a throwback to Episode 10, when Kyouya said something similar to Haruhi when he offered to buy the sushi).

A gaggle of girls come along, attracted by Kyouya, and ask if they can sit at the table next door. He agrees but dismisses them. Haruhi then realizes that this is the real Kyouya when he thinks no one will bother with face -- the same Kyouya from Episode 8, who won't do anything he can't benefit from. She tries to reconcile this with Kyouya's friendship with Tamaki, who is selfless to the point of idiocy.

Kyouya picks up on her thought and tells her he is an, "Egoist". (You mean like Gackt? Eek!) He will not do anything that he can't gain from, and he can gain from being with the Hosts. (Kyouya has said before that the Host Club is a good front for information gathering.) Haruhi believes Tamaki will be hurt if he heard this, but Kyouya says he already knows. All the Hosts, with their differing personalities, work together because there is mutual profit to be gained. However, it is true Tamaki can be unthinkingly generous.

After brunch, Kyouya wants to look around while he's there, so the two visit the regional fair. Kyouya appraises some very expensive pearl earrings. The knowledge impresses Haruhi. He shrugs it off as something he was taught to do. Haruhi takes the opportunity to ask after his family, since he knows so much about hers, but she knows little about the Ootoris. Kyouya talks about his two elder brothers, and how the three of them were all groomed for the family business. When his father introduced all three sons to the public, people remarked on how Kyouya, as the youngest could not be expected to aspire to much. This caused Kyouya to want to strive even harder than anyone else. He tells Haruhi that his family completely consists of people who can meet his father's high standards. Haruhi starts to pity Kyouya, but he considers it merely interesting.

He then notices an elderly lady talking to a potter about expensive glazed wares. The potter is going on about his products, and the lady seems to be lapping it up. So Kyouya wanders over to point out the man is a fraud. I think, Japanese failure at inopportune moments again, that the green underglaze was off, and based on the seal at the bottom of the cups, he ascertained these cups were copies. Security hauls away the cheating potter, and the elderly lady thanks Kyouya, not thinking the son of a prominent family like his would be at the department store.

Haruhi commends Kyouya on his efforts. Kyouya points out the lady was really a prominent socialite he recognized by her massive ruby ring. Haruhi makes a face, but suddenly realizes that when he first saw the lady, it was partially from behind a banner, so he couldn't possibly have noticed her ring. Kyouya is busy studying melon-flavoured snacks at a different stall, wondering how melon-flavoured snacks could possibly be melon-like if their ingredients don't contain melon. (I often wonder the same thing about many, many, many groceries.) Haruhi bursts out laughing, because this is something Tamaki would think of too. Kyouya suggests that Tamaki might like this weird product, and makes Haruhi pay for it.

Up on the roof, Honey is gorging on ice cream (Mori with his single scoop looking baffled by how Honey can stomach this). Tamaki (really Gackt in disguise!) is being squarely tackled and molested by a large golden retriever (who looks a lot like Gackt's own sausage critter, Belle) . The twins are spacing out on merry-go-round horsies. BONES would like to remind everyone they're responsible by flashing to a giant signboard saying, "Bon", with a picture of a bone underneath. In fact, the department store is called Bon -- I just realized that. A live action stage show is being held for the kids, so everyone gathers to watch. Renge appears as the host, and is "abducted" by an ogre. She's then saved by "Ouran Sentai Host Ranger" (really, I'm not making this up), who quite frankly reminded me of Tamaki (wondered for all of 15 seconds if this hero in disguise was indeed Tamaki), but reminded everyone else of Kyouya (because the hero wears goggles? Baffling.). Everyone peers at Tamaki, the supposed good friend.

Kyouya and Haruhi are back at the bench, probably waiting for everyone to show up. Haruhi tells Kyouya that he does share similarities with Tamaki (meaning he's also kind at heart). This reminds Kyouya of Tamaki's kindness towards other people, and we flash back to scenes from previous episodes, ending with Tamaki at the Ootori family's kotatsu. Unfortunately, all the goodness is broken by an announcement over the department store's PA system about a lost boy named Ootori Kyouya, 180cm tall, with glasses, who is required to report to the Information Counter immediately. Everyone in the store turns to stare at Kyouya. Kyouya response by saying once again that he will destroy Tamaki.

So off go Kyouya and Haruhi to the Information Counter, where everyone is more happy to see Haruhi. Tamaki would join them, but is busy getting molested and groped by his new pet dog again. Over shots of waggy dog tail between Tamaki's suggestively spread legs, Kyouya wonders where that sort of stupidity comes from. Haruhi wants to go home for her own sanity. As she leaves, she tells Kyouya she knows he couldn't see the old lady's hand before he helped her, suggesting his cool face is an act. Kyouya is highly amused.

Next time: Honey vs. Nerd Pretending to be Zangief



( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 22nd, 2006 10:27 pm (UTC)
Why the Gackt jokes? Did I miss something?

Yeah... Tamaki and the dog => questionable relationship. o_O

And I agree about Haruhi's clothes. ;)
Aug. 23rd, 2006 02:27 pm (UTC)
*apologizes* This is one of those jokes I had since the earlier eps, for which I haven't written reviews as yet! Way back in Ep 5 or so, when Tamaki first demonstrated his piano skills, I looked at the screen and said, "Dude, that is so Gackt." Because Tamaki is the "prince" personality archetype at work, and his combination of romantic lines that make the blood curdle, casanova cliches and those fiendish piano skills (I have a soft spot for piano players, as I do for guitarists and drummers, but particularly piano players of the romantic stripe -- it's amazing I don't gravitate towards Yoshiki) are just...so Gackt. I find that his tastes in clothes are also quite Gacktish. And his pet dogs even look like Gackt's, they're quite amazing.

He just reminds me of Gackt however I look at it. *ponders*

Not just Haruhi's clothes, there was a point here I was aching to steal Kyouya's to try on.
Aug. 23rd, 2006 02:57 pm (UTC)
At least, Tamaki has a pretty and normal looking room. I've seen the photos of Gackt's house and I just shudder. :D

btw, I have a very, very poor recording of my composition posted.
telephones + any string instrument = craptastic quality
Aug. 23rd, 2006 03:01 pm (UTC)
*beelines towards string instrument* *promises not to go stalker Mana-style fan over*

I've never seen photos of Gackt's house, though I have definitely heard some were floating around, and would like to see them. Because, well, the way he goes after corny skull paraphernalia and talks about antiques, I figure it must be a very interesting sort of eccentric.
Aug. 23rd, 2006 03:06 pm (UTC)
I remember lots of black and red. And I don't think there were any windows. o_O

Feel free to critique "Watanuki". I should really be better about putting up msuic posts because feedback is good.

Composing is tedious! "Watanuki" took me almost a month and a half!
Aug. 23rd, 2006 03:07 pm (UTC)
Music, not msuic. *facepalm*
Aug. 23rd, 2006 03:11 pm (UTC)
That rep for lack of windows I have heard. He hates light. Interestingly, a brief Google for "Gackt's house photos" didn't bring up anything. *frownies and thinks*

*goes forth to critique Watanuki*
Aug. 23rd, 2006 03:16 pm (UTC)
Someone posted them ages ago on jrock or something like that. I wouldn't know where to find them now.
Aug. 23rd, 2006 03:49 pm (UTC)
The word you are after, for the doggy action is "humping"....


Antoinette? who calls their dog that? *grumbles*....

Kyouya was indeed hawt this episode! :D Espicially at the end! *swoons*

Aug. 23rd, 2006 03:57 pm (UTC)
Well, who calls a dog Belle Constantine Chapel? Gackt. ;)
At least Tamaki gets away with being half-French. Naming his dog after a dead queen seems appropriate.

Humping is the word I seek! That was truly disturbing to watch.

And YES! The Kyouyaness of it alllllll! *swoons*
Aug. 23rd, 2006 04:02 pm (UTC)
PS: How's the hand? You seem to be typing!
Aug. 23rd, 2006 04:10 pm (UTC)
I am one handed and a bit slow :) hence not being bothered to go back and correct mistakes :) tbh I am often a b it lazy and type one handed so its not a new thing, but I dont usually type whole posts like it :D
I have researched.. apparently increasing my potassium levels might help the pins and needles.. apart from bananas, can you think of other things that are handily full of potassium?
Aug. 24th, 2006 04:39 am (UTC)
The only other food I know is avocado, but I don't know how widely available that is there. *thinks* Poddled away to Google, and came up with this really handy page of measurements, foods of differing potassium levels, and all tasty foods at that. No soup of boiled flying squirrel here: http://www.drugs.com/CG/HIGH_POTASSIUM_FOODS_LIST.html
Aug. 24th, 2006 12:09 pm (UTC)
oo thats brill thanks vamps :)
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )