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The Two Towers, by A Total Non-Reader

Oh, Legolas! Pretty Elf! *chases*
Eh, grimy Frodo looks slightly more manly in this one.
*is happy because Two Towers shows lots of pretty elf*
Smeagol cute! *wants a pet Smeagol*
Fantasy dwarves are always funny.
Pretty elf in hand to hand combat! *chases*
Yay, Rivendell!
War! Fight! Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
*gasp* Pretty elf has scimitars! Are those scimitars? Ooooh! Two weapon style! *faints*
Bah. Aragorn is filthy.
Oh! Oh! Pretty elf skateboards down stairs using orc shield firing arrows! *dies*
Ents are cool.
Pretty elf! *chases*

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
scanner_darkly
Jan. 17th, 2003 12:51 am (UTC)
Wow.
That's simply the best Two Towers synopsis I've read! :)

-sml
vampyrichamster
Jan. 18th, 2003 01:54 am (UTC)
Re: Wow.
Thank you. *bows*
Really did love Two Towers, if for no other reason than extra pretty elfness.
markfinn
Jan. 17th, 2003 05:43 am (UTC)
Lets just clear up a few things here.
1> Legolas is a vain nancy boy.
2> Dwarf jokes are annoying and Gimli is brutally misrepresented, though the "Shall I describe the entire battle or should I get you a box" is almost true to the book.
3> Ents while cool, were not as cool as they were supposed to be. To small. Too hasty. Too easilly tricked.
4> The skateboarding thing was the second worst bit of film I've seen this year, beaten only by the try and get run down by horse and spin-kick-flip onto its back. Don't care how strong and light eves are, the physics were completely wrong for that.
5> Aragorn is always filthy, no objection there.
6> Anyone else notice that Elronds suddenly become a complete and utter bastard? Or that the elves at Helms Deep were used as an inhuman shield to be slaughtered en-masse?
7> Peh! You can keep steeeeenky smeagol :-P
vampyrichamster
Jan. 18th, 2003 01:51 am (UTC)
Pfah.
Yous just sulky cos there aren't any anthromorphic chicks to look at here. ;)

1) I seen Legolas sans ears and long hair, he's not cute anymore. *pout* But he is cute in the films, so I am worshipping the Legolas of films.

2) Have been watching all LOTR movies trying very hard not to classify characters using D&D specs, but the dwarf jokes bring back lots of interesting memories. And "Shall I describe the entire battle or should I get you a box" was the best bloody line in the movie. :)

Also loved the fallen orc count game.

3) Ents made me laugh. Would believe I'd get on very well with ents. We seem to share the same views of nature.

4) HEY! I LOVED the shield-boarding and the leaping on horse bit! And I think it proved muchly just how light and spry elves are.

5) Yeah, he looks yummier clean, as opposed to Frodo, who really does look like a child.

6) Elrond always was a bit loofty even in Movie 1. And my thoughts exactly about the elf-army shield. They do seem to be there for the slaughtering. Ah, raining arrows!

7) Smeagol is cute. He has mental problems. He'd make an excellent familiar. :oP
(Anonymous)
Jan. 17th, 2003 12:27 pm (UTC)
A-ha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-HA!

That was even more fun than watching big ass trucks play slip'n slide last night on the ice...
JaNell
vampyrichamster
Jan. 18th, 2003 01:44 am (UTC)
Hee...
Watching Two Towers again. Noticing even more pretty elf bits, although since everyone seems to focus on Aragorn a lot, I've resorted to focusing on the slightly blurred background just to see that elf.
(Deleted comment)
vampyrichamster
Jan. 19th, 2003 04:30 am (UTC)
Oh, Legolas!
Pretty, pretty! Shkrew the ring. It's Legolas who needs the worshipping. ;)
desertwolf
Jan. 25th, 2003 12:47 am (UTC)
"Bah. Aragorn is filthy."

Eh? But that's part of what makes him sexxxy. That and his beard.
vampyrichamster
Jan. 26th, 2003 01:40 pm (UTC)
Yeh.
And Viggo Mortensen looks not a day over 45..but see, Legolas is clean-shaven, and handsome, and moreover always manages to be clean enough to eat. :P
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )