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Finches III v.2

So I was supposed to have finished this thing a month ago, complete with, you know, debugging. Then, of course, I showed it to a few nice friends, let's call them scanner_darkly, mokie and countlibras, all awesome people I respect, because that's what you do when you have friends. Let's say your friends come back slightly puzzled at your ending, and maybe notice where you've been slightly lazy and made dialogue a bunch of talking heads. Let's just say the writer became slightly freaked out, because, one would've thought three months of debugging could've plugged up some holes, but no! One's story still haunts one's sleep, complete with terrible accusations that one will abandon it for other writings, because it's so horribly scarred.

What can a writer do under such circumstances, except emulsify together a new ending, and rewrite an entire possessed nun? And let's just say now, that nun, she's awfully possessed.

Thanks to the edits though, I've found a couple of new threads I can follow to restructure the rest of the novella. There's even a real chance I might be able to run with these threads and turn this into a novelette, double the intended word count and double the editing mayhem. Fun!

Title: Mothers & Wives
Words: 8,197
Finished: 01/10/07
Time Since Inception: 1 week since the last debug

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Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
countlibras
Oct. 1st, 2007 12:53 pm (UTC)
oooOOOoooh!

Am I allowed to read the newly edited version?

Also, Blankey Jet City and not AJICO?
vampyrichamster
Oct. 1st, 2007 02:23 pm (UTC)
You are, dear pet! I am, as always, exceedingly grateful for the read. I only rewrote the last two sections to make things clearer, really, the end result of the story should still be the same. :)

Thanks to your introduction of Ajico, I got into Blankey Jet City. The bass/drums/guitar thing is awesome, even if the "singing" can make me wince. They're great to put on and tune in/out of while working though. :)
countlibras
Oct. 1st, 2007 02:48 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I can't get past the singing which makes me sad since I like their music overall.
vampyrichamster
Oct. 1st, 2007 03:07 pm (UTC)
I think I was just so blown away by the music, the incoherent squawking didn't even hit me until there was enough time for me to not notice the bass or guitar or something. They're that kind of band? :) I found this acoustic concert of theirs running around the Internetz too. The voice was definitely sticky on that one, but my overwhelming love of good acoustic sets just went into overdrive.

The other thing that struck me, of course, was how different Blankey Jet City sounds from Ajico, which makes Asai Kenichi a kind of composing god, in my head.
countlibras
Oct. 1st, 2007 03:16 pm (UTC)
That reminds me... I might have small AJICO related present of sorts for you in the near future.

I'm a horrible tease! ;)
vampyrichamster
Oct. 1st, 2007 03:20 pm (UTC)
I feel lucky already! :)
countlibras
Oct. 1st, 2007 12:54 pm (UTC)
wait! shouldn't you be listening to Tenshi no Revolver? *nudge*

XD
vampyrichamster
Oct. 1st, 2007 02:30 pm (UTC)
I have the Tenshi no Revolver. Thank you so very, very much for putting that up for me. I will now put in on, and ruminate upon it, and maybe even post my dingbat review or something! :)
countlibras
Oct. 1st, 2007 02:51 pm (UTC)
I have been so addicted to TnR. It'd be kind of pathetic except I know that I'm not the only one. :D
vampyrichamster
Oct. 1st, 2007 02:58 pm (UTC)
Well, I'm on the 5th song atm, La vie en Rose -- and all that I've heard so far tells me this album truly sounds nothing like it came from this age. It's retro-ish, and gorgeously swanky. And I'm just OMGing the guitars, because it's so rare to hear such a guitar-heavy B-T album. Makes a real difference when they're not having a diarrhea of electronics to muck all the sounds up.
countlibras
Oct. 1st, 2007 03:21 pm (UTC)
"diarrhea of electronics"? haha! I love you.

I still cannot believe that "cream soda" is the brain child of Atsushi and Hide. Hide! Not Imai!
This album is definitely swanky. And generally upbeat with some lovely ballads. Originally I was obsessed with "rain" but "snow white" has totally snuck up on me for the favorite child award.

I must admit though that, unlike the general consensus, I'm not fond of Selia's voice on "revolver". I think it's whatever they did to it in production/engineering. It's too bad because it might have very well been my favorite otherwise. (I love how the song ends)
vampyrichamster
Oct. 1st, 2007 04:23 pm (UTC)
There are days of the week I'm listening to their live recordings, and I really, really want Imai to BE QUIET. Distortion FX so much pain!

Cream Soda was a jangle and a half. It quickly turned into my least favourite song in the whole album, sadly. There's a nice melody in the background though. I've heard the whole album now, and it really is upbeat. I'll still need time to process, but the nice surprise for me was Mr. Darkness & Mrs. Moonlight. When I heard the Bauhaus ref, I thought, "OMG, not that Mr. Moonlight..." and just really worried *gothmusicwoe*. The song itself is delightful. Sounds like the baby of Michiro Endo's Sasayaki and Masami Tsuchiya's Mienai Mono... covers from On Parade. It set the tone for the rest of the album for me.

The lady's voice on Revolver was alright, I thought. It's nice, but kind of too noisy to really stand out. A little demonic, like it fell out of 13 Kai. I wasn't good with Atsushi's sung melody, which I found flat and wearying.
mokie
Oct. 6th, 2007 01:29 am (UTC)
You and your obsessive editing... ;P
vampyrichamster
Oct. 6th, 2007 08:28 am (UTC)
Me and my obsessive editing are the cornerstones of my writing! ;P
Besides, of what use am I to others, if not for my in-built Weather in Hell(tm) Engine?
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )