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Precious Facepalm

So it seems Yoshiki, Gackt and Sugizo have decided to form a band. I have already predicted the sound -- a heavily orchestrated allusion to metal, with tragically goth lyrics (about love and falling over rusty nails in the rain as your heart breaks into a thousand pieces wanting to meet your lost lover who will probably shoot you up with android drugs -- possibly in English), and at least two solos per song for the violin, piano and electric guitar. There probably won't be organs. But there must be pianos and violins. Naturally, each song alone would have to be an average of 5:30 minutes long, punctuated by 10 minute long intermissions of completely instrumental tracks.

Yoshiki will take pains to write his lyrics in English, for the international market (and he's very adept at the English language too). Gackt will help translate the lyrics into Mandarin and Korean, because he can. Sugizo will manage to interpret the music with the violin, acoustic guitar and a double-neck guitar, within the same five minutes, during lives.

There should be dueling pianos. It would be so cool. Gackt and Yoshiki must collapse at the end, goffick fashion, from their passion play. I'm completely suspicious Gackt would win a piano battle against Yoshiki. Yoshiki's compositions are suspicious in general -- listen to enough X Japan, and they start to be the same song running into each other, but he can do good stuff. Gackt is a much better composer, though one would sometimes not believe that listening to the stuff he's written lately. Yoshiki has to do the lyrics though -- Gackt's would just be all about meeting ex-girlfriends in his sleep. If either of them would acquiesce to it, they should probably let Sugizo compose most of the material.

There must be tighty pants, and French ruffled shirts, and black leather trenchcoats and wine red draperies in the PV of the first single, because it's entirely possible. Don't even try to forget the eyeliner and pancake mix. Because how dare fangirls attend the concerts wearing 50kg of petticoats to find their idols dressed in jeans.

And you know what would be extra cool? They should get Miyavi as their other guitarist. Because Miyavi would trample all over Sugizo and probably set the dude on FIRE with his totally awesomer m4d guitar skillz. The band thus far lacks an element of slutty VK rock-dom. Sugizo is nice these days. Yoshiki and Gackt are all sorts of vanilla-flavoured pretty host boys. And if they really want to push the ex-people of famous bands part, his hair is sometimes pink.

They'll also need a bassist -- who knows who they'll rope in for that. They want to take over Asia, which works for Gackt, who's already doing that one Asian language at a time, bless him and his linguistic ways. Yoshiki's only been dreaming of taking over Asia for the last two decades. Luna Sea's played in Hong Kong. There's the entire demographic of who'd listen to their super band. Fangirls who listen to bands that haven't been around in 10 years, and gosurori who would wet their pantaloons for any one of these men's fake plastic nails. The growing horde of anime, manga and Japanese rock fans who've only just come into these legendary bands past like the new sliced bread. Grown women the Asian diaspora over who've seen Moon Child and come to love his Gacktly leather pantsness. (Pants? I was only impressed I could watch Moon Child without subtitles and still understand it because the script was in four languages at the same time.) The people who have accidentally discovered X Japan in the theme songs of the Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon TV series (Taiwanese version) and Windstruck (a Korean movie).

It would be a grand first single. Might be a repetitive album. Who really knows?

Props to jiruchan and misatojaganshi for the links and info!

Comments

( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
dracunculusmed
Dec. 29th, 2006 12:16 pm (UTC)
somehow hitoki popped into my head as bassist...but that is a little out there XD

that project is a musical implosion waiting to happen
vampyrichamster
Dec. 29th, 2006 12:24 pm (UTC)
I wanna hear the sad violins! XD
And like, seriously. Dueling pianos. It's waiting to happen.
dracunculusmed
Dec. 29th, 2006 01:03 pm (UTC)
oh, im sure you'll get sad violins XD

there will be a piano battle to end all piano battles methinks
vampyrichamster
Dec. 29th, 2006 01:20 pm (UTC)
Sad classical piano music! *the love* I'm just really amused that Yoshiki came up with a new plan to take over Asia like this. It did make me think, "So he was planning something like this, between all those years of new ways to sell X Japan's old music."
dracunculusmed
Dec. 29th, 2006 01:31 pm (UTC)
haha...well it was clever of him to rope gackt into plans of asia domination...and sugi as it were :3

im kind of wondering how the creative process will go...there are some serious egos at work, although to be fair ive never heard about sugi being all...crazy
vampyrichamster
Dec. 29th, 2006 02:38 pm (UTC)
It was! According to misatojaganshi, Sugizo these days is quite the active planeteer. Which is kind of a nice thought in itself. There aren't ever enough planeteers out there, certainly nice-looking rock star ones.
dracunculusmed
Dec. 29th, 2006 02:51 pm (UTC)
planeteer eh? Sugi is the man...i just watched this little cute dectective movie with him in it...well ok he was in it for like, 5 minutes but still XD

for some reason an image of sugi bitch slapping gackt just popped into my head :DDDDDD
vampyrichamster
Dec. 29th, 2006 03:22 pm (UTC)
Little cute detective movie? Tell! :)

Sugizo, I will always remember him as this amazingly beautiful woman from the Shine PV. It is still one of the coolest PVs I've ever seen, and is my favourite LS PV.
dracunculusmed
Dec. 29th, 2006 03:28 pm (UTC)
its cute along the lines of that kyuuketsuki kindaichi shounen movie with kame in it...it is called Kakure karakuri :)

that is probably my favorite LS PV but because Ino looks freakin gorgeous in it...Love Song is pretty tasty too because they are all sweaty, although i will admit i can do without seeing sweaty ryu and sweaty shinya :X
vampyrichamster
Dec. 29th, 2006 03:33 pm (UTC)
*jots down name*

Inoran does look freaking hot in it! Is the other reason I like that PV -- though to be fair, they ALL look good, J and Shinya too. J was jawdropping. And it was all these other guys doing at least one cool thing, and Inoran personifies cool better than them by just staying put and having a smoke.

Even Ryu looked not bad. I am horrible, because Ryu has a great voice and he's got the whole pretty boy performance down pat, but it's something about his pretty boyness that just gets to me.

I like Shinya. Kickarse drummer. I notice him first in most of their songs. True, he's not pretty, but he's got a presence. :)
dracunculusmed
Dec. 29th, 2006 03:40 pm (UTC)
i dont know anyone else who is in it really, well besides chiaki kuriyama...but the guy who played kurimoto is adorable :D

haha yeah...i do so enjoy J's improptu shower *_*

i think they are all awesome...but i am shallow at heart, and i have my favorites :3

now i feel the need to watch Gravity *looks for it*
countlibras
Dec. 29th, 2006 03:21 pm (UTC)
you and misatojaganshi are too funny. :)

But inquiring minds want to know! Will Yoshiki blog about this on his Myspace page??

*actually, I'm still giggling over your whole imagery. It's very awesome.*
vampyrichamster
Dec. 29th, 2006 03:28 pm (UTC)
Eee! I just realized I misspelled violin! *edits*

Yoshiki has a Myspace page? I am so not with the times anymore!

I have just realized that if they do allow Sugizo to do tracks, it would be massively good. I still mistrust Gackt and Yoshiki, especially Yoshiki, with the compositions. Can you imagine the vampire music?

Thank you. Thank you. *bows*
countlibras
Dec. 30th, 2006 04:55 am (UTC)
uh-huh! misatojaganshi linked to it once and that's how I found it. ummm, oh, right! here it is!

Vampire music... hee! all I can think of is Gackt and Dirge of Cerebus now (only because there is a plethora of bad fanfiction where Vincent Valentine is portrayed as a vampire - do not ask me how I know this).
vampyrichamster
Dec. 30th, 2006 05:48 am (UTC)
I don't really dare to ask how you know this. ;)

*looks at Myspace* "It's still fucking my mind." And he listed himself as Rock/Gothic/Classical. *BWAHAHAHAHAHA* IT'S IN ENGLISH! *goes forth to read everything*

What? Didn't say I didn't like him now. ;P
countlibras
Dec. 30th, 2006 02:18 pm (UTC)
It's the comments and the "friends" that are listed that make Yoshiki's Myspace page special. ;)
vampyrichamster
Dec. 31st, 2006 04:32 am (UTC)
I admit that after a half hour of Sad Yoshiki on Piano via Youtube links, I was Yoshiki-ed out. There is only so much of the sad I can take!
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )