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Hamster vs. Cabbit: Bad Translator Syndrome

Helping markfinnCabbit translate key points from a Japanese school's website. My 0.5% Japanese is pretty terrible, but even I have to wonder what I'm doing sometimes:

Hamster: Eastern Defence Satellite Reserve: that's a fanciful name for a course. Lesseeeee.
Hamster: Whole country's top revolutionary (or rebel, damned Japanese transliterations) lecturers employed. Grassroots program for the country areas.
Cabbit: *bafflement at translation* They want Ronin teachers?
Hamster: Well, it's either that or they really believe in equal opportunity education. Either way, Cabbit could pass off as a ronin teacher.
Hamster: Why anyone would call a course Eastern Defence Satellite Reserve is beyond me. Sounds nearly like a project for NERV.
Cabbit: Maybe they had the Mecha-OS written by European contractors?
Hamster: Ah. So this must be the European NERV responsible for sending over the REALLY insane candidates.
Cabbit: Teutonic redheads a speciality....
Hamster: This must be one hell of a country life immersion program. I mean "country areas" literally translated into "marshy paddy fields".
Cabbit: Grassroots in a paddy field are not a good thing!